Another chapter in my life is besieged with news of death of a long time friend last month, 23rd of July to be exact. After two people I’ve known had gone ahead to eternal life, I was again mourning the passing of this friend who was dear to my heart. Again, I was looking back to the past. It has a way of pulling you back, throw back the years gone by. Days of recollection of the good old days. It played in my mind how busy the years were, that when I got reconnected with these group of friends outside work; they have all been family oriented and with kids to boot. Those days of carefree life among them stayed in my old video tapes, played again after hearing of this friend’s death.
I just recently recovered from the passing of a friend from work; and facing again this dilemma of heartbreak of losing another friend, it’s been tough. When she finally was laid to rest and the coffin was lowered down to the grave as shown by a live streaming video on Facebook, I was exhausted from mourning. I had to deactivate my Facebook page again just to take a breather. I decided to intentionally stay away from Messenger as well to clear my mind. My friends from this group were so nonchalantly telling me that people they know, related or not, died like flies in recent months. Young and old alike are passing away. The funeral homes are inundated with funeral services even to this day. They are hopelessly overloaded, the reason it took 17 days for the viewing of my friend’s remains. At least she was buried on her birthday the next day. This is the reality of the ongoing pandemic of Covid 19 and its variants.
Who knows if these people are passing away, not necessarily of Covid infections, but the effects of Covid vaccinations that trickled to the body’s organs and cells that causes illnesses and deceases. No one knows at this point of the pandemic until maybe years from now.
What’s top my list moving forward is to go back to stress reducing ways. Resume with exercises, sleeping well, healthy diet and meditation. With these sad news of deaths, close in proximity, among friends and relations, it takes a toll on your mind. I have to tell myself, these people are gone. The Holy Bible scriptures describe their state of mind as asleep knowing nothing anymore about this present world. I need to remind myself, to help me cope, that their spirits have gone back to God and their everlasting souls either stayed with God or Hades. Wherever their souls reside, they no not of us any longer. They don’t know anymore how we feel about their passing. They are like vapors that are now gone. We are just torturing ourselves getting emotional in recollecting the memories about them. We should have actually enjoyed and have spent time with them, in any shape and form, while they were here on earth, communicating with them when they were alive. That’s the valuable facts that no one pays attention to when these loved ones were alive. When they want to communicate, communicate back! You will be sorry if you don’t when they pass on. And when the opportunity arise, don’t miss out sharing and telling them about Jesus eternal SALVATION.
According to Ecclesiastes 9:5 of the Holy Bible: “For the living know that they shall die: but the dead know not any thing, neither have they any more a reward; for the memory of them is forgotten.”
“Many of those who sleep in the dust of the ground will awake, these to everlasting life, but the others to disgrace and everlasting contempt.” Daniel 12:2
“But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep.” 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18
“Death is life’s great leveler. No one is untouched by it. Not only does this mean we will all eventually die, it also means we will all eventually be touched and broken by the deaths of those we love. Grief is such a profound experience.” Bill Crowder/The Daily Bread
Once again, I am facing another sorrowful days of grieving. My friend of many years passed away. Death seems getting closer and closer reaching to the point of, who’s next? My true friends are few and far between and they’re getting smaller in numbers as years have gone by. People I’ve met in my life who I have crossed path with and closed relatives are dwindling in numbers as they’ve breathe their last breath.
The recent death of my friend had taken out a suppressed feeling riddled with thoughts of my own mortality. She was part of decades of a busy world of gainful employment and fun memories that would come with being around the same people each and every year. Come to reminisce my connection with her, I realized she was part of my small wedding entourage, parties I’ve attended and work-related gatherings and personal ones. She was always a friend who would make a special occasion a happy memory. She was on my few videos and albums of pictures of years gone by! Then we became text buddies when we relocated to another state. She surely has the brag rights to say she has the greatest numbers of being present in my lifetime, which she told her husband last night I spoke with him.. The saying of “friends come and go in life”, does not apply to her. Even at the closer end of her life, I’ve heard from her. She actually the one who would first connect when she had not heard from me. What a friend I had with her! Amazing that it’s always when a person’s life has ended that we look back at the impacts of every people in our lives. She has taken the most attendance! Wow, I’ve just come to realize it. Even my own relatives cannot beat that.
I will miss her. Her down to earth demeanor, her funny antics, her “trying hard” karaoke singing, her inner opinions of injustices of the world and; her spiritual knowledge about God and His Word are mine to remember. Goodbye my dearest friend, I have never met someone that has her character of a good, old fashioned but life loving as she was. I’m gonna see you at the pearly gates of heaven. You’re the very first one of the people I know personally that I’m pretty sure I will see in heaven. I love you my friend! ❤
I may have cried buckets of tears as days go by and read back your text messages and it’s all worth it!
“The loss of a sibling in adulthood can have many meanings. It is the loss of a brother or sister who shared a unique co-history with you. This person was an integral part of your formative past, for better or worse. Your brother or sister shared common memories, along with critical childhood experiences and family history.”
It’s been a month now since my sister who had Alzheimer’s disease, at first stages, died suddenly. Her health deteriorated so fast when Covid 19 spread middle part of this year in the U.S. It brought a cumulative negative effects on her will to live.
She was still doing well early this year and was able to still communicate with me through telephone calls she made. There was no trace of her being overcome by Alzheimer.
She started relaying her fear of the Corona virus in May of this year, and she was concerned that it can infect her. Every call she made after was full of fear. She even thought that world war is not far from happening. She suddenly showed signs of depression and loneliness and felt the wall seemed coming down on her. She was stuck in her home unable to go anywhere. She did not have the ability to engage herself on internet technology to socially interact. Her only social outlet of going to the casino was abruptly cut off due to the casino shutdown. There, she was able to socialize with her friends and be happy. She lost that only social interaction she had when Covid spread.
“Social isolation could lead to feelings of loneliness. Observational and correlational studies have linked persistent feelings of social isolation and loneliness with higher risk of developing certain mental and physical health conditions like heart disease, high blood pressure, anxiety, depression and even premature death. Loneliness also triggers a stress response that there is an imbalance in social homeostasis,” according to Stephanie Cacioppo, director of the Brain Dynamics Laboratory at the University of Chicago’s Pritzker School of Medicine.
My sister conveyed that she did not have anyone to talk to, and that no one was paying attention to how she felt deep inside her. She was hysterical as the weeks went by. She confided that she could not catch some good sleep worrying about many things. The medications she was taking was hurting her mentally and I was told by her son that his mother was over medicated, that she was given more than she could handle. Everything went downhill for her after that and she started to have a hard time communicating clearly. She had moments of complete memory loss; but bounced back to being able to remember again. Her memory suffered on and off and took over her frail condition in her last weeks. She was taken to a hospital as she became a little combative and would not take her medications and would not eat anymore. When she was released from the hospital, her ill- health progressively got the worse of her.
I truly believe that if our world has not been overcome by this deadly virus, she would still be alive today. Her illness will eventually overcome her but not so soon. She would still have a good 2 or 3 years before Dementia would take a toll on her memory.
Among my siblings, she was the one who gave me a full history of our family. She was our family’s Torch Bearer. She was the younger version of our mother; and to me, she was my second mother!
She would have celebrated her birthday today. This date has now forever etched on my mind! My sister never had forgotten my birthday. She’d always make sure to call me on my special day, she would always remember it. In contrast, I never remembered her date of birth, only her birth month!
Life goes on. Though it was a sudden death, and I allowed myself to grieve; during this pandemic however, I have to think of my mental health. My memories of her will never fade. She will forever live in my memory.
It’s been very sad how Corona Virus could devastate most people’s lives and mental health.
The main findings of the preliminary study at the University of Sydney and the University of Adelaide in Australia about the mental effects of the Covid virus include:
Adults in locations more affected by the virus experienced distress, lower physical and mental health, and reduced life satisfaction.
Adults who had existing chronic health conditions were at increased risk of lowered mental and physical health during lockdown.
Adults who had stopped working during lockdown were also at higher risk of harm to their mental and physical health.
The COVID-19 pandemic, according to Mayo Clinic, has likely brought many changes to how we live our life, and with it uncertainty, altered daily routines, financial pressures and social isolation. We may worry about getting sick, how long the pandemic will last and what the future will bring. Information overload, rumors and misinformation can make our life feel out of control and make it unclear what to do. COVID-19 pandemic causes stress, anxiety, fear, sadness and loneliness. And mental health disorders, including anxiety and depression, can worsen. What more with someone who was on an early stages of Alzheimer’s disease.
To cope with stress during this time, the following strategies are advised by the CDC:
Listen to your body’s needs. During this stressful time, making your body a priority can be helpful. That may look like taking deep breaths, eating healthy meals, getting enough sleep, and staying active.
Limit exposure to news media. When you turn on the TV or scroll through social media, it’s all pandemic talk, all the time. Taking a time-out from consuming news on the virus can be good for your mental health. Constant news about COVID-19 from all types of media can heighten fears about the disease. Limit social media that may expose you to rumors and false information. Also limit reading, hearing or watching other news, but keep up to date on national and local recommendations.
Make time for connection. We may be social distancing right now, but there are still ways to connect with others. Schedule video calls with friends and family to stay in touch and find support.
Self-care strategies
Per the Mayo Clinic, self-care strategies are good for our mental and physical health and can help us take charge of our life. Take care of our body and our mind and connect with others to benefit our mental health.
Take care of your body
Be mindful about your physical health:
Get enough sleep. Go to bed and get up at the same times each day. Stick close to your typical schedule, even if you’re staying at home.
Participate in regular physical activity. Regular physical activity and exercise can help reduce anxiety and improve mood. Find an activity that includes movement, such as dance or exercise apps. Get outside in an area that makes it easy to maintain distance from people — as recommended by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the World Health Organization (WHO) or your government — such as a nature trail or your own backyard.
Eat healthy. Choose a well-balanced diet. Avoid loading up on junk food and refined sugar. Limit caffeine as it can aggravate stress and anxiety.
Avoid tobacco, alcohol and drugs. If you smoke tobacco or if you vape, you’re already at higher risk of lung disease. Because COVID-19 affects the lungs, your risk increases even more. Using alcohol to try to cope can make matters worse and reduce your coping skills. Avoid taking drugs to cope, unless your doctor prescribed medications for you.
Limit screen time. Turn off electronic devices for some time each day, including 30 minutes before bedtime. Make a conscious effort to spend less time in front of a screen — television, tablet, computer and phone.
Relax and recharge. Set aside time for yourself. Even a few minutes of quiet time can be refreshing and help to quiet your mind and reduce anxiety. Many people benefit from practices such as deep breathing, tai chi, yoga or meditation. Soak in a bubble bath, listen to music, or read or listen to a book — whatever helps you relax. Select a technique that works for you and practice it regularly.
Take care of your mind
Reduce stress triggers:
Keep your regular routine. Maintaining a regular schedule is important to your mental health. In addition to sticking to a regular bedtime routine, keep consistent times for meals, bathing and getting dressed, work or study schedules, and exercise. Also set aside time for activities you enjoy. This predictability can make you feel more in control.
Stay busy. A distraction can get you away from the cycle of negative thoughts that feed anxiety and depression. Enjoy hobbies that you can do at home, identify a new project or clean out that closet you promised you’d get to. Doing something positive to manage anxiety is a healthy coping strategy.
Focus on positive thoughts. Choose to focus on the positive things in your life, instead of dwelling on how bad you feel. Consider starting each day by listing things you are thankful for. Maintain a sense of hope, work to accept changes as they occur and try to keep problems in perspective.
What keeps me going is my endless Faith and Hope in God. I rely on His promises of protection and healing both mental and physical.
Use your moral compass or spiritual life for support.If you draw strength from a belief system, it can bring you comfort during difficult times.
Set priorities. Don’t become overwhelmed by creating a life-changing list of things to achieve while you’re home. Set reasonable goals each day and outline steps you can take to reach those goals. Give yourself credit for every step in the right direction, no matter how small. And recognize that some days will be better than others.
Connect with others
Build support and strengthen relationships:
Make connections. If you need to stay at home and distance yourself from others, avoid social isolation. Find time each day to make virtual connections by email, texts, phone, or FaceTime or similar apps. If you’re working remotely from home, ask your co-workers how they’re doing and share coping tips. Enjoy virtual socializing and talking to those in your home.
Do something for others. Find purpose in helping the people around you. For example, email, text or call to check on your friends, family members and neighbors — especially those who are elderly. If you know someone who can’t get out, ask if there’s something needed, such as groceries or a prescription picked up, for instance. But be sure to follow CDC, WHO and your government recommendations on social distancing and group meetings.
Support a family member or friend. If a family member or friend needs to be isolated for safety reasons or gets sick and needs to be quarantined at home or in the hospital, come up with ways to stay in contact. This could be through electronic devices or the telephone or by sending a note to brighten the day, for example.
Greatest GIFT - Naomi Jeremiah 