I found out a day before that my ex-husband had passed away in 2017. The first thing I felt was: shocked! He was not that old in today’s standard. Slowly, I started to think about the past, and it was constantly in my mind. It helped the weird feeling of knowing his death by telling my son about it and messaging our mutual friends about the loss.
Fortunately, my husband is very supportive and understanding. He knew my history with my ex-husband vaguely, but he learned a little bit more as I shared with him the information I gathered through out the day. It surely eased up the growing sad feeling developing inside of me.
I came to realize that even though the marriage ended in divorce, have not heard from him for so many years, finding out about an ex-husband’s death is sort of traumatic. Being with this person, day in and day out for almost twelve years, I started feeling grief. The marriage was rocky from the start because trust was broken from the get go, but I went along and stayed for the simple reason that love and caring had got something to do with it. But due to the trust issues and covering up some lies, it got harder and harder to make the marriage work in my part.
Nevertheless, after what was said and done the realization, of an ex-spouse’s death has an impact in my life after all. I’ve learned that separation, divorce and distance do not count in regards to our emotions. The length of years, the good and happy times in between the tumultuous years, do speak volumes. You do get affected.
I hope that writing it here can heal the emotional pain and sadness. It helped a lot as well when I was able to communicate to one of his siblings and told me what happened. She could not get ahold of me because she didn’t know where I can be found. She was so gracious and so nice to me that it ease up the sadness.
To go through this sad episode, I was advised to just think about the good and happy memories which matter the most. I know the first night of knowing the sad news will be the hardest to get through as you cannot help to think about your relationship with the departed. That’s why, I’m wide awake right now and sharing this here at this moment.